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Tech News Amuse
March 2022

Key Visual Feuill-IT-ong

Here you not only get the most important tech news of the past month at a glance, but also the corresponding  satirical side blows.

by Tabea Ulla Thor

Whether it's the new functions of Siri, complaining Google employees or Amazon on a shopping spree – there was once again some tech news last month that we simply can't leave uncommented. Our Tabea Ulla Thor has once again researched and summarised the most important events and then taken a subtle satirical blow at them.

Our tech news overview of the last few weeks:

Amazon officially acquires film and series production company MGM
The EU had previously green lighted the takeover.
You can alread look forward to the new Amazon slogan: "A parcel carrier is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." -> Hint

Google employees complain about too low salaries
According to an internal survey, many employees believe that they would earn more in a comparable position elsewhere.
However, a quick search with their standard search engine revealed that the average salary is even worse everywhere else and the bosses look nowhere as good as they do at Google.

Microsoft tests integration of advertisements in Explorer
According to the company, this was unintentional; the corresponding test should not have been distributed to external testers.
Industry experts sepculate that this error will also be found in official updates within the next few years.

Tencent prepares for record fine

The Chinese tech giant is said to have violated money laundering laws with its WeChat Pay service because it did not check the deposited customer data closely enough.
Tencent announced that it would be able to pay the fine without any problems as long as the corresponding controls would not be tightened in the meantime. Otherwise, the penalty could be so massive that the company name might have to be changed to Ninecent.

Amazon's cloud service is far more profitable than Google's
According to a report (on The Information), Amazon made $13 billion in profit from its services between 2014 and 2018, while Google recorded a loss of $18 billion.
At times, Jeff Bezos even had to personally fly the volumes of data into the cloud with a rocket.

Biden has crypto variant of the US dollar tested
US President Joe Biden is having the advantages and disadvantages of a digital dollar as a competitor to Bitcoin and Co. examined.
The result could be a currency that consumes a lot of energy like previous cryptocoins, but at least would be centrally controlled.

Siri now also understands dialect
Apple recently released an update for the voice assistant Siri which now also allows speech input in Swiss German.
At times, the AI worked too well and even reacted to atmospheric noise from a badly tuned radio station.

The Format

*Our "Feuill-IT-on" format is created in collaboration with the two freelance writers Tobias Lauterbach und Daniel Al-Kabbani who occasionally contribute to the satire platform "Der Postillon". Under the pseudonyms Strigalt von Entf, and Tabea Ulla Thor they report on current events from the world of technology – always with a wink! ;-)

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