It is the backbone of our society, the place where life takes place: the family. However, we have to look the sobering truth in its disgusting face: despite their importance, which cannot be put into words, families have functioned in a rather dilettantish, disorganised, almost amateurish way since the dawn of time. The entire collective memory of mankind is full of examples, just think of Oedipus, Hamlet or the Kelly Family. Even the Greek gods, superhuman beings who were able to create worlds, cut a rather sad figure in the field of family life.
At last, dear readers, at last a glimmer of hope bathes the dull horizon in a silvery light: Microsoft is now extending its collaboration platform "Teams" to private individuals. After the preface, I'm sure you have an inkling of the scope of this epochal milestone for the Kennedys, Windsors or the Corleones. Dish plans that otherwise disappear behind children's scribbles on the fridge, milestone plans for the next holiday planning, everything is splendidly organised. The productivity of families will reach dizzying heights once the new technology has finally become widespread.
At last, the entire family, scattered from Kleinbückelsheim to Kathmandu, can keep track of how Erwin Junior's school grades are developing in the shared spreadsheet tool. Clara's homework at university can be supervised and optimised live by her great-uncle and step-cousin. Gone are the days when WhatsApp groups were frequented by some and ignored by others. Channels allow an elegant pre-sorting here: important messages here, motivating calendar sayings in front of descending central stars there, mutual recriminations there, and even grandpa with his sub-modern world view gets his own channel with everyone who secretly agrees with him. Crisis conversations between mum and dad can be recorded directly as a basis for the next therapy session.
At last, the entire family, scattered from Kleinbückelsheim to Kathmandu, can keep track of how Erwin Junior's school grades are developing in the shared spreadsheet tool.
However, all this is no more than a small amuse-gueule for the main course, the all-you-can-eat buffet of optimisation potentials: the family celebration. The saving of thousands of kilometres of travel in a socially mobile world no longer needs its own advocate. Aunt Trude from Wyoming can be present for the aperitif without an intercontinental flight and hours of explanations about how the jet lag is not so bad this time. The celebration itself is also freed from punishing disruptive factors. No more arguments about vegetarian, vegan, halal, or because the maid of honour doesn't want to see that the elegant Tête de Moine goes much better with the full-bodied Pinot Noir than the heavy Le Gruyère. At home in front of the screen, everyone can commit culinary sins according to their own taste. The most touching wedding sermons or the festive speech of the father of the bride, heart-rending climaxes of bliss, profanely disenchanted by the high-pitched screaming of the freshly born youngest family member - the remedy is there! With teams, you can mute the mewling bundle of joy as quickly as if it were the UN Security Council in the case of human rights violations in a country with good trade relations.
However, all this is no more than a small amuse-gueule for the main course, the all-you-can-eat buffet of optimisation potentials: the family celebration.
Despite the wonderful prospects, not all that glitters is gold. Because of Corona, most of the functions are currently free of charge, which almost invites people to make frivolous use of the digital possibilities without making use of their true advantages. It is to be hoped that a small fee will soon ensure that professionalisation is taken seriously, because what costs nothing is often unfortunately worth nothing. A small drop of bitterness: the tool also contains playful ornaments, such as the possibility of cutting into different backgrounds at conferences. However, this does not spoil the overall picture: a new era is beginning for families! Out of the Hades of bungling, into the Olympus of productivity!
Your Strigalt von Entf
*Our "Feuill-IT-ong" format is created in collaboration with the two freelance writers Tobias Lauterbach und Daniel Al-Kabbani who occasionally contribute to the satire platform "Der Postillon". Under the pseudonym Strigalt von Entf, they report on current events from the world of technology – always with a wink! ;-)